Annually, my husband Adam and I sit down and work out what our year will look like. Where we want to grow, what we want to accomplish, where we want to give back, what memories we want to make, and what items will be crossed off on the bucket list. As our girls get older we do the same with them. When we asked our daughter Brooklynne what she wanted to do her response was “Well, in the summer I want to do absolutely NOTHING.” I asked her why and she responded with “Well, I’m at dance, and Baylee has dance, and flashbots, and therapy and horseback riding and school…. all the things. I need ME, time mom.” If you know my 5-year-old, you can probably imagine her with her hands on her hip telling me straight forward.
My response? “No, you will not do absolutely nothing. We will rest but not hide. Let’s make a list of all the things, and let’s choose a few things that will serve what your dreams are.” (We use the word dreams instead of goals, she 5;).
I Have taught my oldest the importance of Bursting and Resting vs. Grinding and Hiding. It’s a lesson it’s taken me my whole adult life to learn. Years ago I would grind and hide. I would fill my schedule up so much and I would grind hard. Like I can’t be outworked and I used to be proud of that until I would burn myself out and hide. I also have learned the importance of choosing my best Yesses Wisely and that resting means you still say yes but you are intentional. When you rest, you are not burnt out, you just create a margin for life to happen. When you hide you do NOTHING, but the result of doing nothing is well…nothing. Life is way too short for me to let time go by either wasting it or hiding from it.
Now, my child is 5 so the conversation we had were about her dreams of different dance moves she has been wanting to accomplish and camp. I told her no one ever got better by doing nothing and if we aren’t getting better we are getting worse. That’s a fact. There is no neutral. So I said, “let’s not do 100 classes but let’s choose a few. You don’t want to lose what you have learned. We don’t have to do 8 weeks of camp but you do enjoy it while you are there AND the result of NOTHING is NOTHING and memories can’t be created from nothing.”
We then went on to talk about all the great dreams she had for the rest of the year. I get it she’s 5 but you know what? I firmly believe we are not raising kids. We are actually raising adults and the life lessons begin now.
I don’t want her as an adult overfilling her plate, being overworked, grinding day in and day out and hiding from the world feeling like she is on the hamster wheel. I want her to choose her burst with excitement and joy and then know when to create a margin in her life and rest. I never want her to do “Nothing”. Life is all about memories and memories can’t be created when “nothing” is being done.
2023 is going to be a great year. Actually, every year is great if we have the mindset to see it, believe and choose to live it that way. Remember, the right thing with the wrong attitude can cause you to miss a blessing. My hope for you? May 2023 be bursts filled with love and memories and may your rests rejuvenate you. If you have to hide….I hope it’s from playing hide and seek with your kiddos or grand kiddos making memories along the way<3.